What motivates the Dragon / Tiger?
Dragons and Tigers are most distinguishable in three areas:
· What motivates them
· Where they place their priorities
· What brings them pleasure
Understanding these differences is necessary to creating a foundation for greater Polarity and fulfillment in a relationship. Let me explain.
Motivation: Freedom vs. Love
Dragons are motivated by freedom. Their mantra is some version of “I will be happy when I am free.”
There are many forms of freedom and endless interpretations of what freedom means to a Dragon in any given moment. It may mean physical freedom to sail a boat, financial freedom to retire, sexual freedom to sleep with whoever you want, or even just freedom to watch TV. Freedom may also look like emancipation from some form of arbitrary or despotic control, like a partner’s complaining, a boss’s micromanagement, a lover’s seduction, or a parent’s expectations.
While Dragons feel a burning desire for freedom, Tigers have an unquenchable thirst to be deeply seen and loved. They want to be understood and genuinely loved for the person they are. Tigers want to shower in love, brush their teeth with love, and then floss with it. There simply cannot be too much love.
Thus, the Tiger’s mantra is some version of “I will be happy when I am truly seen and loved” and, as an extension of that, Tigers also believe “I will be happy when I find someone to give my deep and endless love to.”
Tigers will spend a great deal of time and money attempting to be seen and loved. Some efforts are more obvious than others. A Tiger may focus on their personal appearance or the appearance of their belongings, family members, or even pets (“my children are beautiful, my home is beautiful, my social media feed is beautiful, therefore I am beautiful”). They may work on being seen through their career achievements, their personal sacrifices, or their commitment to a cause (“see me for the difference I am making”). They may even try to be seen through their bad habits and rebellious behaviors (“see me and save me from myself”).
Tigers also have a deep desire to truly see their partner and get to know their inner thoughts, their desires, their childhood fears; they want to know what their partner is eating for breakfast, what it tastes like and how it impacts their digestion. A Tiger wants to show their partner that their love has no boundaries, and the more they see and feel their partner, the more they can bathe them with their love.
A Tiger who has an open heart and a deep yearning to be seen and loved is irresistible to a Dragon, particularly if that Tiger can also support and respect the Dragon’s need for freedom .
Similarly, the Tiger is drawn to a truly free Dragon—a Dragon who prioritizes their real freedom above all else—because the Tiger enjoys the process of competing for the Dragon’s attention and discovering what it takes to be seen and then loved by them. It’s the never-ending game of catch and release that the Tiger loves to play.
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