Family Dynamics

Since I was already on a self-improvement journey, armed with my new Tiger-Dragon energy insights, I figured I’d take a crack at trying to improve my family interactions as well. The good news is that I did make some progress. The bad news is that it was hard and it was slow.

When I compare my own personal change journey to the changes of my extended family unit, I liken my evolution to a speedboat—I am a single operator, and I am fast and nimble. I am cruising down the French Riviera with the wind blowing in my hair. At any time I can quickly change course, maneuver, adapt, and evolve. If I am a speedboat in this analogy, then my family is a container ship—enormous and cumbersome, with many contributing parts. We are plodding down the Suez Canal, slow, heavy, and hard to maneuver. It’s not that you can’t change course in a container ship, it just takes more time and more work.

By putting in energy work, over time, you can change how you operate within your family dynamic and how you both perceive and affect your family members—which can lead to a richer family experience, closer relationships, and less trauma. You can start by taking a moment to consider each member of your family and their dominant energy: what motivates them, what their priorities are, and the ways they personally derive pleasure. By consciously considering each individual we can start to experience our family unit in an entirely different light. Maybe we can’t transform the ship from a cargo carrier to a speedboat, but we might be able to make a few upgrades to the galley.