Tigers need to feel safe

Imagine going to the pool to relax, but when you lie down on your towel you notice, out of the corner of your eye, an unaccompanied toddler without floaties just splashing around in the pool. No parent in sight. Can you really drink your cocktail and take a nap with the toddler in your periphery?

Of course not.

Well, that’s exactly how Tigers feel!

Tigers (those of us embodying feminine energy) have invested countless hours, days, and years building a beautiful, safe, loving home and life for ourselves, we need to know that while we are off having fun there will still be a home to come back to, not a pile of rubble. That confidence comes from consistent assurances—and demonstrations—from our partners that you’ve “got this.”

The sense of safety that Tiger energy needs in order to come out and play comes from many micro moments, not just the big ones. It’s not enough that our Dragon partners make the mortgage payment on time each month, get the car serviced before a vacation, stock up on Costco supplies before a hurricane or fastidiously keep their credit score at 850. While those things help a Tiger to feel safe, if a Dragons wants to help their Tigers to relax into their joy each day, they need to do the small things too. 

Every time our Dragon partners don’t follow through on a promise, no matter how small, we think “I’ll just do it for myself,” which moves us deeper into our own Dragon energy. Of course the Tiger can do it for themselves. We’ve had a lifetime of training to be self-sufficient. Yet even though a Tiger can do it all, deep down (and this is hard for us to admit), we really don’t want to! We want the same thing as our Dragons partners want from us: to throw our hands up in the air and have some fun. Yet to do that requires a great deal of vulnerability—which is why it’s important that our Dragon help to make us feel safe.

Ultimately, life’s micro moments become a series of tiny Tiger tests designed by the Tiger (usually subconsciously) to determine whether we can let go and find our pleasure. Will our Dragons continue to hold our world together when we release the reins? When they pick up the bread, take out the trash, pay the speeding ticket—essentially when they follow through on their word, they are demonstrating their strong, reliable Dragon core. When they don't follow through, Tigers see their Dragon core as weak, and we cannot trust them to keep us safe. Consistent clarity, direction, integrity, and presence will all make Tigers feel safe.

When the Tiger feels safe, we will be more receptive to letting our Dragons lead us to a place where we can let go and feel into our deep Tiger pleasure.

Previous
Previous

Let go before you feel safe

Next
Next

Phantom Freedom